CKL - Last Words

I had dreams about you, about us. It wasn't like you were just some guy I met, it was more than that. At least for me it was. At least I thought we meant something. But now I know that it wasn't about the two of us. It was about you and what you didn't want me finding out about you. It was about saving your own skin. It was about trust and who not to trust. It was about everything except a relationship. It was about other girls. It was about what you couldn't let go. It was never about what you could have and what made you happy. And for you, I wasn't worth it.

I wasn't worth your precious time, since you didn't ask for days off so you could visit me. I wasn't worth your online time, since you cared for every other girl on Facebook except me. I wasn't worth anything. I was just some red headed freshman you saw at school. But I was more than good to you and you know it well. The weeks you were so sick you couldn't make it to class...and I stopped by your room every day, and still kissed you when you refused numerous times. The nights that I cooked for you when we had money to eat somewhere other than the Pryz...and you loved those cheeseburgers. The weekends I spent so many hours in your room watching Netflix stuff with you while eating Chinese food and 7/11 Slurpees, warm in your bed, snuggled next to you...you enjoyed every second of it. But yet, you wanted to be somewhere else. 

I remember that night you got down on your knee at the WWII Memorial at 2am. And I cried. You told me all these things, about how you loved me more than any other girl and how you would love to spend the rest of your life with me - immediately, if it was possible. But now I know all those words were just wasted air. All those thoughts weren't about me. All those pictures were memories without me. All that time single, with no commitments, with no woman yelling at you to give her attention, no fights. Simple.

I can see you've missed it. All that time doing what you pleased. Now you have it back. And I will stay away from it all. I'll take you out of my life and we won't be friends. Because I can't stand to think of you with anyone else. You just kept lying. But I wasn't worth your time.  Hopefully someone else will be, I mean I know there will be more. But I hope you're honest with her, since you weren't with me. I hope she never has to feel the heart break you caused so simply. I hope she never has to endure the "nothings that happened". I hope the next girl(s) don't need an excuse. 

But always remember that forgetting me won't be easy. It never is.