The What's Hot Post

Songs on my Work Out Playlist:
Chasing the Sun by The Wanted
Dirty Picture by Taio Cruz
S&M by Rihanna
If I was you (OMG) by Far East Movement
My Chick Bad by Ludacris & Nicki Minaj
Wild Ones by Flo Rida feat. Sia
Turn up the Music by Chris Brown
Birthday Cake by Rihanna
Where have you been by Rihanna
Scream by Usher
Everybody Talks by Neon Trees
Feel so close by Calvin Harris
Everybody by Rudenko
Bottlez by T-Pain
Part of Me by Katy Perry

   
  



 
 
 
 

Summer Goals!

I got to hangout with my brother yesterday, which was nice since we're always so damn busy. We talked about how I recently joined a gym and I told him I've been going 4 or 5 days every week, trying to run 2 miles without stopping. He told me that there's a 5K the first week of August and that he's planning to do it...and I should join him. So here I am...single, small, skinny, 19 year old me...who is trying to complete 2 miles...asked to do a 5K. I decided I would do it because I know that would be the perfect goal before I leave for Italy, especially since I'll probably gain a billion pounds while I'm over there and my family will be forced to roll me off the plane when I get back...


But I'm going to try to do it. I went to the gym today and I can almost do 2 miles without stopping. Almost. I'm still working on it. I'm not a runner and I never have been. I can swim a mile or two...or three. But I can't run around the block. I know, it's pathetic. But I've been pushing myself at the gym which is great because I need a serious kick in the ass. 

I usually spend 45 minutes to an hour at the gym in one day. And I usually go around dinner time because I don't think many people will be there, since most of the people I've seen look like parents. But there are still the hot guys that are there when I am, that could toss me into another state if they wanted - and holy crap! These guys are HOT! I mean...


           AND


I love working out :)

Nightmares

I've had two horrible nightmares this week. One was about a phone call with my ex boyfriend, which was just strange because there hasn't been any contact between us since earlier this month. But I still woke up shaking and had a hard time getting back to sleep. However, this wasn't the dream that I was all that worried about. It was the one I had last night.

Recently, I found open internships for the CIA. I think working for the CIA as a secret agent, or anything else, would be super cool...and perfect for me since I'm physically great at blending into different situations. (I prefer to think of myself as the "Angelina Jolie" of America.) So one day, when I was taking a break at work, I found the website for the CIA and saw that they are looking for new interns, preferably college students who are interested in making a career of the CIA. I thought this would be perfect for me and I'm going to see what happens next summer. 

This idea is seriously ingrained in the back of my head. Last night I had a dream about investigating a crime scene. I was with another detective (I, myself, was a detective) and we were trying to find the man that stabbed and killed this young girl. It was like an episode of Law & Order. This male detective and I were looking for an African American man in this 30s who was a suspect, said an eyewitness in our case. We ended up going into this workplace, filled with African American men in their 30s, but one looked particularly upset. I signaled the detective with me to arrest him, but suddenly I felt a knife stab me in the back and realized he was his friend. We arrested the wrong man and I was stabbed. 

Then I woke up. It was 1:50am. I was drenched in sweat. I thought someone was in the house and started freaking out. Freaking out. So I slowly turned my light on, got out of bed, went to the bathroom across the hall and threw some cold water on my face and neck. I turned on more lights in the house to make sure no one else was there. I felt like I was being watched, it was strange. 

It took me an hour and a half to get back to sleep because I couldn't stop shaking long enough to feel my body relax. I don't know why I had that dream, but it was horrible. 

Amore

Tutti si ha bisogno è l'amore a sopravvivere la vita. Ha bisogno la verità, non le bugie. Ha bisogno a capire l'amore prima di ha capisce l'amore. (Sto cercando a practicare il mio italiano.)

Cinquantaquattro oggi finché lascio gli Stati Uniti. 

       

AWWW! SO CUTE!

Hookup with an Italian!

My friends are trying to convince me to date some hot Italian guy when I'm in Italy from August to December. Here's my thing...I won't be there long. It won't even be a real relationship. I don't know where he's been. I would honestly rather just meet a couple guys at a club or something, hangout with them around town, and go home. That's basically it. If they kiss me, awesome. But I am not going to Italy to hookup with hot guys. Just...no.






I met a man today who is doing some work on the school I currently teach at. He does something with floors, I think. When he wanted to talk to the business manager, I heard him speak and he sounded Russian. I thought it was strange because it was so brief. When I was leaving work, the business manager told him I was leaving to study in Italy at the end of August. And his eyes lit up. It was so funny. 

This man is probably in his 50s and came by himself to checkout the school floors. So naturally, when I'm leaving, I strike up a conversation with him since he's done with his business. I spoke to him in Italian and he told me he comes from Florence. He was born in Perugia. I guess they moved, I wasn't able to talk to him long enough. But he went to college in Florence and came to America, I don't know when. But he told me he wants to talk to me more, especially since my speaking skills could use the practice before I leave in August! So...I'm seeing him next week :)

This makes me wonder what Italian guys will think of me while I'm living in Italy...



um....YES PLEASE!

The Strangest Day

Tuesdays are usually no big deal at work. Except today. This week, in general, has been super strange. Yesterday I started teaching Summer Religious Ed. I'm teaching 3rd graders, again, for 2 weeks - just like I did last summer. Then I have my July vacation! But I like my group of kids. They aren't really a shy group, which is nice. They are full of random questions, both about what they are learning and about me. They always think of something new. 

Today I had to drive to Iselin after lunch time to move some new technology to Edison. Thanks to particular donors, I had to drive to Iselin and help load a truck of computer equipment to bring back to where I work. Unfortunately, the donors are administration of the Catholic Grammar school which closed this year. So while I was waiting for the maintenance guys to help me move everything, I walked around the empty school.

The strangest thing happened to me when I was walking around the school. I think it's a gorgeous place - it's 3 floors and a basement floor. The hallways are tall and lengthy, and the doors are tall as well. I stood in the doorway, looking down the hallway and had this vision...this random image of what my future private practice would look like if I had one. Bright colors on the walls, paintings and patient artwork hung, water fountains in the hallways, tall doors to rooms. It was like a vision, like a premonition that one day I'll have my own business - my own place to call home.

I walked to the basement. In one huge room, a special Hindu/Jainism ceremony was going on. I met a guy there, who obviously knew I didn't belong to the ceremony. He explained the ceremony to me and told me to take a further look - which I did. I figured I'd be a little rebellious and adventurous, which I should probably get used to since I'm heading to Italy in 2 months. So I took my shoes off and left them in the hallway outside the room (which the ceremony requires of everyone) and went to the front, around the crowd of people, toward the altar to watch what was happening.

Indian men and women were sitting separately from the other gender. Men sat on one side of the room, women on the other. Some women and children sat on the ground, on very small folding chairs. The entire room was decorated in different colors, fabrics, textures, and jewels. It was beautiful. In front of the women on the floor sat small tables with little glass jars and small lit candles. In front of that table, there was another table that held golden bowls. I think something was in them because they were all covered with the same color napkin, softly placed over the top. 

The ceremony was about the transitioning of the family's eldest son from boyhood to manhood. It was extremely interesting. The man I met there gave me his card and told me to contact him. He owns some huge corporation so maybe something awesome will happen. After I got home from work, I hit the gym - where I awkwardly got hit on by the guy who works there LOL :)

Things you didn't know about me

Whether you've known me since preschool or recently met me, there will always be little things you don't know. Here's a list of some interesting things that make me, me:

(1) Yes, the red hair is real
(2) I have 5 cats and 1 dog, but I'm not crazy. Promise :)
(3) My favorite color is blue
(4) I'm majoring in Social Work and minoring in Italian Studies
(5) I know how to say "I love you" in 6 different languages: English, Italian, Spanish, French, German, and Russian...but I speak English fluently and Italian almost fluently
(6) My birthday is September 8
(7) I auditioned for America's Next Top Model last year but nothing happened...I guess I was too pretty ;)
(8) I was an Irish Dancer for 6 years
(9) I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease in July 2011 and eat gluten-free
(10) The only thing I've ever broken is my nose
(11) I love Coca Cola and Pepsi is a fake
(12) If I could change my career path, I would be a linguist
(13) I own one of the only paintings in the world
(14) My favorite book is probably The Last Time They Met by Anita Shreve
(15) My dream job is to open my own private practice to care for the elderly
(16) I don't believe in divorce unless I'm being beaten by my husband, so when I get married, that's it
(17) True love is more important to me than money and sex put together
(18) I'm happily Catholic

I have no clue what else to put up but ask if you want to know something :)

Things I LOVE

On the way to work today, I was thinking of a new topic for my blog entries. I have nothing more to say about the breakup. I mean, who cares? I'll never see that dbag again. So I thought I'd make a list of a ton of things (which might be super corny) that I love! In no particular order.

More will eventually be added.
BTW - I looked super cute today!


(1) Picnics by the ocean/lake
(2) Red roses!
(3) Being serenaded with love songs <3
(4) Slow dancing under the moon
(5) A travel partner
(6) Holding hands <3
(7) Swimming...for fun or exercise
(8) Spending time with my best friends
(9) Dirty dancing at clubs - yes, I have an edgy side
(10) Getting dressed up...heels included :)
(11) Reading
(12) Laying by the pool with a drink in my hand
(13) Cooking or baking...which I'm not completely good at yet since I have to eat gluten-free, but I'm slowly getting there! I feel sorry for my poor future husband LOL
(14) Watching movies on stormy nights
(15) CUDDLING...OMG I LOVE CUDDLING!
(16) Art - I collect paintings
(17) Comedy...jokes, funny tv shows, anything to make me laugh
(18) Carnivals
(19) Cruises (...Carnival Cruises count too, I didn't plan that - I swear)
(20) Driving
(21) Dark haired guys with some muscle...omgomgomg
(22) Guy that are really romantic...even if it's an idea from a book or movie, it's the thought and effort that counts :)

Things I will absolutely stay away from:

(1) Gluten
(2) Ketchup
(3) Roller coasters
(4) Heights
(5) Country music
(6) Smoking and other drugs
(7) Sex
(8) Your stupidly disgusting celebrity crushes...because I'm the best
(9) Your exes...because I'm still the best you'll ever have

I need a hero

The worst part about breaking up is the emotional trauma it takes on your body and your mindset. All you want to do is contact the other person and tell them you love them. Or plan their demise the next time you see them - like punching them in the face. Or imagine how many people they're hooking up with right now. You can never just let go, at least not immediately. This sucks for me because I cared about him and got screwed over - way way more than once. And it's just a bad situation. (My poor blog get the worst of my complaining about this!)

But after all was said and done, I keep thinking to myself, He didn't care about me as much as I cared about him. He made all these promises and broke them easily. He could never just be totally honest with me. Plus there was always another girls somewhere - via texts, in DC, on Facebook - that he was flirting with. Well...it's been a week. I still haven't been able to eat a full meal. But I'm sleeping. I promised myself I would give it a week to see what happens, to maybe let it blow over and see if he knew he was wrong. But I guess not. He didn't stop me last week, didn't do anything. Just said goodbye. I'm not surprised though, he wasn't right for me. 

What I want is someone who will fight for me. I want to be able to vent to someone - scream, rant, whatever - and after I do that to him, I just want him to hold me and tell me everything is okay. I want him to take away my pain, not add more. I want him to wipe my tears away, not cause more. I want a guy who will do anything for me - brag about me, die for me, know me better than I know myself. Because that's the kind of person you're supposed to marry. And he could have been it for me if everything that came out of his mouth wasn't a lie. 

You're supposed to marry someone who knows you better than you know yourself. Someone who picks you up, not puts you down. Someone who makes you feel amazing, not unappreciated. Someone who makes it known that you are his one and only special girl, not another notch under his belt. 

That's my rant. 

After the House Party

It took me forever to wake up this morning because my entire body was stiff. But last night was fun. I watched two of my friends get completely trashed and it was hysterical because they're funny drunks. But aside from those two, there was a good crowd. I met some new people, mingled, had a few drinks, played Twister, and got home safely at 1:30am. 

But now I'm stiff and it sucks. My entire body hurts from working out - my legs are killing me and, since I did some arm weights yesterday, my arms are killing me too - mainly my inner shoulders. Killing me. 

The party was fun though, I think everyone had a good time. I looked hot and met some guys. And I wasn't even buzzed since I was taking care of one of the drunks. So later on in the evening, I got to talk with all of them. 

It was a lot of fun. Mission accomplished :)

DAY OFF! YEAHH!

I usually have Fridays off.
Which now means I can get myself to the gym :)

I woke up a little before 9am, wrote some blog entries, finished the second book of The Hunger Games Trilogy, and went to the gym. No one is really at the gym on early Friday afternoons. Which was very strange. I like having a billion people there because it makes me feel like everything is fast paced and I can keep up with my usual routine of 2 miles and random weights. Today I did 1.65 miles and some arm weights, which are not good for you when you have a long drive home and you haven't worked out in a month. Because your arms shake uncontrollably. Awesome.

Anyway, the second Hunger Games book was more in depth. I love it though - there's a relationship between Peeta and Katniss, plus Gale and Katniss. Spoiler Alert: There's also another Games - yeah, ANOTHER Games. And at the end, I cried. I literally read the last page of the book and cried. And that was it. Now I have to get my hands on the 3rd one! And then I start 50 Shades of Grey ;)

Now I have to attempt to organize my room, get ready for the party, and - ya know - SHOWER. 

Ciao for now ;)

Italian Basics 2

Please read previous Italian Basics post from May!
By popular demand, I am writing more Italian posts!
Let me know if you want any more phrases/words added!

Important things to remember when speaking Italian (if you don't remember these, they'll know you're American...or just really really bad at Italian):

- In italiano, ch is pronounced as a k because there is no k in the Italian alphabet! Words like ch[k]iamo, ch[k]e, ch[k]iave, and vecchi[k]o have English k sounds in them! 

- Certain Italian words that have a c in them are pronounced like a ch in English. Italian words like ric[ch]erca (research), cuc[ch]ina (kitchen), and aranc[ch]ione (orange) have ch sounds in them. It is not the same as in English, where we pronounce ch as ch in words like chicken, kitchen, and chewing. 

- In italiano, nouns that describe nationalities, (like American, Italian, German, etc.) are written without a capital letter in front! So if you wanted to say the American girl, it would be la ragazza americana - no capital letter.


Breakfast - la colazione (COH-LATZ-YOH-NAY)
(Verb) to have breakfast - fare la colazione (FAR-AY-LA-COH-LATZ-YOH-NAY)

Lunch - il pranzo (ILL-PRAHN-ZO)
(Verb-->it isn't "to have lunch") to lunch - pranzare (PRAHN-ZAR-AY)

Dinner - la cena (LA-CHEN-AH)
(Verb--> it isn't "to have dinner") to dinner - cenare (CHEN-AR-AY)

Morning - la mattina (LA-MAH-TINA)
Afternoon - il pomeriggio (ILL-POH-MER-EE-GEE-OH)
Night - la sera (LA-SEH-RAH)

Red - Rosso (ROW-SOW)
Orange - Arancione (AR-ON-CHO-NAY)
Yellow - Giallo (JA-LOW)
Green - Verde (VER-DAY)
Blue - Blu (BLUE)
Purple - Porpora (PORE-PORE-UH)
Violet - Viola (VEE-OH-LA)
Pink - Rosa (ROW-ZA)
Brown - Marrone (MA-ROW-NAY)
Silver - Argento (AR-JEN-TOW)
Gold - Oro (OR-ROW)
Black - Nero (NER-ROW)
White - Bianco (BEE-AN-KOW)

One - Uno (OOH-NO)
Two - Due (DO-AY)
Three - Tre (TRAY)
Four - Quattro (KWAT-TROW)
Five - Cinque (CHIN-KWAY)
Six - Sei (SAY)
Seven - Sette (SET-TAY)
Eight - Otto (OH-TOW)
Nine - Nove (NO-VAY)
Ten - Dieci (DEE-EH-CHEE)

House Party

Tonight is the night! I've been thinking about this party for a while and I'm super excited! One of my lovely friends is having a small get together at her place. But there will be alcohol. There will also be a bunch of new people to meet. And I'm bringing Twister :)

I'm super excited because I've never been to a house party before. But I have been to clubs where there's alcohol so - don't worry - I'm no newbie when that's involved. But I'll only know 3 people there tonight out of the 30 that are going. So it will be interesting. I also have to look super duper hot tonight, which is easy for me. But I have no clue what to wear, so I have to think about that...

It's funny though because I feel a little rebellious, which is definitely a new thing for me. Enjoying a drink or two with friends, dancing with a bunch of my girl friends and maybe some guys. It will be a real Friday night. And there are absolutely zero limits for me, if I choose. 

If I want, I can drink as much as I please and sleep over. Or make out with all the guys there. Or get on a table and belt my little heart out to the song playing...but those aren't me and I would never do them. My point is, there's no man holding me down...so there are no invisible limits ;)

But I'll play it cool. I think I'm playing Mama Bear anyway and I'll probably end up driving some people home. Some guy friends of mine are coming and I'll get to chill with them, which will be nice. I don't get to bond with them as much as I want so it's nice for me. 

I absolutely cannot have a horrible hangover tomorrow because I'm taking care of grandma. Maybe I'll take some pictures, but we'll see what happens.

Muahahaha ;)

Music & Style - American Version

Last night, for some random reason, I felt so horribly sick. I felt a sick pang in my stomach late last night that woke me up. Nothing came of it, but I didn't feel too great this morning. Fortunately, I have the day off tomorrow to hit the gym and recuperate. I obviously didn't go to the gym today because I still didn't feel too hot when I got home. I just took a nap and had some food. Why am I telling you this? Because shopping online for things I'm not actually going to buy right now makes me feel soooooo much better :)

Here's a list of hot summer music & stuff to dance/workout to:
The American Version! :)

Werk Me by Hyper Crush
Bottlez by T-Pain
Chasing the Sun by The Wanted
Everybody Talks by Neon Trees
Single Ladies by Beyonce (...a classic)
Club Rocker by Inna
Wild Ones by Flo Rida

Latest adorable stuff:

           

I also think tattoos are interesting. I don't know if I would ever get one:

   

"Here's your sign!"

For months, I've been waiting for some kind of sign. Why? Because for the last few months, when I was in a relationship, I had a feeling in my core that something big was going to happen. It was either going to be absolutely wonderful or devastating. I did get my sign, which happened to be devastating. 

On the bright side, I've met new people. I've discovered some amazing things about myself and others. I've learned who my real friends are: my roommate, people from school, my co-workers, my family, and many many more. But it's good to know before I leave for Italy! 

My dad actually pulled me aside and gave me an unusual speech. He told me that I have some incredible standards in morals that he's never seen in any teenager. I consider myself a 70 year old stuck in a 19 year old's body. I swear. I feel like I've been through so much and I love taking care of people. I get to guide others through situations that they might not know how to get through on their own. So there I am! I've actually helped a ton of people - hence Social Work, but anyway...

My dad told me that my morals are incredible. I go to church every week. I love intensely and look for serious relationships, guys I intend to marry. Even relationships with friends are intense. If someone is a bad influence around me, I accept them anyway but don't hangout with them as much. And my dad actually recognizes all of this! He noticed it in high school when I recognized that the girls I hung out with were more interested in sex and drugs. And I made new friends.

He noticed it in guys I dated. Where I got over them when I realized how horrible they were to me. I've dated 4 guys. Ever. I dated a cheater, a manwhore, an abuser/manipulator, and a cheater/liar. NONE of these guys could keep up with me and I really need someone who can. But I have standards in a guy - I don't call it a "checklist" but I have standards in a guy!

Anyway, when I talked to my dad about the breakup, he was just disappointed - yeah. But also, he told me that he thought it was interesting how straight I was. When I mean "straight", I mean that I ended it in a "That's it, no more, I've had enough, goodbye" fashion. He thought it was a good interesting, that I was demanding in what I expect from relationships and dating. And I told him what I wanted in a relationship...

(Please see My Future Husband Post for more info on what I want!) 

THE GYM!

So I joined a gym the other day. And I got a little too carried away with my excitement. I was originally planning to get up before 5:30am and head there, workout for an hour, and come back to get ready for work, which I have to be at for 8:30am...after a 30-40 minute drive. SO...needless to say, my "brilliant" plan failed. Naturally. Because I am so damn lazy.

But I figured I should at least go and check it out today. So I thought, After work would be the perfect time. Go home, relax for a while and head out. So I did. After working in a kitchen in the morning. And after experiencing the 40 minute drive...to and from work. With zero - ZERO - air conditioning. By the way, the weather was hotter than hell today. 

When I got home, I walked in the door and my mom asked me, Did you spend the day working outside? I said, No I'm just ready sweaty because my car doesn't have cold air. Lovely. So I was more than ready to sweat out my life at the gym tonight, haha. 

But I went to the gym...for the first time! I ran 2 miles and did some leg weights. I think I was there a total of 40-45 minutes. And let me tell you...the gym is the perfect place to find a hot guy. I'm not kidding...I walked in, put my stuff down, ran 2 miles, and all the guys were looking at me like, Dude, who's the new track star on the 3rd treadmill? It was hilarious. 

Totally going every day. Because nothing says I'm sexy and I know it like a woman's ability to strip off her work clothes and drip sweat. 

End of June

I can't believe it's the end of June already! I feel so accomplished within the month and a half I've been home. I've been working my butt off, already saved a ton of money, and have achieved some simple goals of mine - signing up at a gym, buying myself a kindle, looking professional every day at work. Simple. 

I've also changed things in my life so that I don't stress as much, but I haven't been able to rid my life completely of stress. Who is? I still worry about my grandma. My worst fear right now is that she dies while I'm away in Italy. But I'm doing what I can right now to make these short moments count over the summer. I'm just preparing myself for the worst right now. I've gotten out of a relationship I didn't put 200% of my faith into, mainly because there was just not enough reason to trust him - at least, not enough trust when I'm leaving in 2 months. He didn't put his all into it. Oh well. We're out of each other's lives now and I will never see him again. And we're moving on. I'm not even sad. I haven't cried a tear. I wonder why...Now I take everything out at the gym.

I'm also worried about my health, but there isn't much I can do about that right now. For those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease last July. July 15, 2011. I've been on a gluten free diet since, but the disease took a lot away from me. My weight, my height, my bones. I lost a lot and it's hard trying to make it right. So I'm nervous about the future blood tests I'm forced to take. But I have to make sure I don't have diabetes, or leukemia, or a lactose intolerance. I absolutely have to. 

Dreaming BIG

If I won the lottery or married rich (or insert way to get a ton of money here), I would probably spend it on clothes or something. After paying off my school loans of course - so this is just me, dreaming big! So what would I buy if I had a bagillion dollars to spend thanks to my top notch job? Or my super rich husband? Probably something like these: