Do I deserve this shower?

I've been having zero motivation to workout. Also, my work schedule is tricky. Unfortunately, the pool hours on campus are only mon-thurs, 5-8pm. The gym hours are mon-fri, 4-10pm & sat, 10-4pm. If I get the night shift, I'm probably working from 4-9pm. Maybe until 10pm. I'm also trying yoga and mini workouts in my room. My goal has basically been to "deserve my shower". Weird, I know.

Here's my thought process: I workout until I'm drenched in sweat. It's easier for me to run 3.5 miles at the gym every day (I prefer treadmills to running outside). I could also swim 1000m easily at the pool. Whichever way I choose to workout, I have to be completely exhausted, sore, and my muscles need to be throbbing. Then I think, do I deserve a shower? If not, I work my body harder until I do. That's my goal right now - to make sure I have pushed my body hard every day so that I deserve that final "ohhh" moment in the shower when the hot water hits my sore limbs.

I did have a solid 3 days going for me where I worked out at the pool and in my room. But I've gotten lazy since. I've brought this up to a few friends of mine and they said they feel the same way - they also have zero motivation to workout and they don't have time.

 

Let's face it - not everyone looks like this & a ton of Vicky S models are photoshopped. Sometimes they do such a poor job that you can point out the flaws. Anyway, I don't look like this girl now and I won't. I'm short and I'm pretty muscular for 20 years old. I'd like abs, but I'm still working on certain things at a time. I'm trying to boost my upper body strength because I'd like to be able to do hand stands, etc. I want to stand on my hands, like they do in yoga! I need to work slowly but at the same time I'm also trying to gain flexibility. I used to be more flexible but my body has tensed since high school. These are all things I need to work on.

So this motivation thing - how am I supposed to kick this? I would love to wake up first thing in the morning and go for a run. DC is pretty nice. When I was interning this past semester, I was up at 6am during the week. I was exhausted but I HAD to get up. Waking up early gave me a great view of the sunrise! When I was in high school, I woke up at 3.30 or 4am every day for swim practice when I was on the swim team. Working out for an hour in the morning gave me a huge boost of energy for the day, but accountability was also important. Right now, I don't have anyone holding me accountable so how am I supposed to get up that early and attain my goals?

I think Insanity and Crossfit are awesome and I'd love to do them, but I'm starting small right now.